reblogged.

I asked you if you ever thought of leaving me and you said yes. Other people would have said no because it was easier to avoid the truth; or maybe they didn’t know the truth at all. But you’ve thought about leaving and you might have even pictured the girl who would come next. You weighed your chances at other circumstances; you plotted out the steps for how you will disappear,

and yet—

it is this point that makes uncertainty the only truth. Every day we spend together is another day you could have left. You could because I’d let you. And yet.

I love because of the urgency of loss.

-oh pilar. your beautiful writing makes me so sad. love, ja.