Say What now?

1. I am now a.... ready for this? a Virgo
Can you believe that? I can't be. I have all the Leo symptoms, proud, haughty, bossy, intolerant disdain of underlings, ummmm... and generous? and cute, and loyal.... and cute? a 13th sign is just stupid. Stupid. Some people have tattoos you know they just can't do this. they can't just "oh yeah we're adding a new zodiac, a-man-with-a-huge-huge-snake-around-him-sign."
2. Chocolate does not go well together with mustard. Microwaving Lindt Truffles and dipping saltine crackers into the heavenly goo is just awesome. This shit is tight! I'm. telling. you. do. this. like. right. this. minute!
3. I've been ignoring texts from people, particularly a brother I was a bit mad at (who i barely see) --just to learn that he has been leaving me snacks and bottles of chocolate drinks for days now with the maid who I have trouble communicating with. language barrier anyone?
4. So tests came out and I am rh positive, yey! meaning my rbc will not break down my baby's red blood cells. I don't have killer blood.
5. My 2 Days Off has been moved back to Sat Sun. Yey? Ok, so random, well I just added that for the mere purpose of aesthetics. 5 is more appealing versus 4 things I learned today, amirite?
Right.